


The Billionaire's Bridegroom

by CaptainLeBubbles



Category: RWBY
Genre: Alternate Universe - Romantic Comedy, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Prosthesis, Romance Novel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-05-25 08:40:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6187780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainLeBubbles/pseuds/CaptainLeBubbles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James' grandfather dies, and leaves him with a fortune, on one condition: he be married within the year. If he isn't, the fortune goes instead to Cinder Fall, his grandfather's young ward. James gets his friend Qrow to marry him, but what neither of them is counting on is their fake marriage stirring up very real feelings both had thought long-since buried.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I love throwing these two into so many cheesy romance novel situations but I really do and I'm not apologizing.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James proposes.

James had always loved his grandfather. The man had raised him since he was a small boy, after his parents’ deaths, and he was a good man. His fortune, vast and seemingly limitless, always managed to find itself being thrown at one cause after another. There was not a person out there who could ask the old man for aid who wouldn’t get it, and for no other reason than, as he’d told young James once when James had asked, because when a man was blessed then it was his responsibility to his fellow man to share those blessings with others.

And in James, he had instilled that same goodness and compassion, the same desire to be a force of good in the world.

That didn’t mean he couldn’t also be a hell of a troll, though. As James learned after his grandfather’s passing and the reading of his will.

“He left me the bulk of his fortune,” James said, when his friends all took him out for drinks after the reading. It was good of them- he’d been having a rough time since Grandfather had passed. “But there are conditions. Most of them I’ve met, but the final condition is that I have to be married within the year to inherit.”

He adopted a hopeful expression, and Glynda, Peter, and Bart all exchanged an uneasy look before, “One-two-three-not-it,” they all said, in unison. At the same time, Qrow choked on his drink and sputtered, “One-two- not- fucking- goddammit, guys.”

James turned a pleading look on Qrow, who adopted a defiant one in returned. “Uh-uh,” he said. “No fucking way. I’m not marrying you just so you can inherit your gramps’ fortune.”

“Qrow, _please_.” James turned up the pleading. Made his eyes crinkle at the edges, the way he knew Qrow had trouble refusing. "It'll only be for awhile, until the money is mine. Then we can get divorced." When Qrow still looked defiant, he decided to sweeten the deal. “I’ll pay off your student loans,” he offered. “And buy you a new car. A good one. And the insurance for it as well.”

This seemed to get Qrow’s interest. He squinted at James. “You can afford that?”

“It was a lot of zeroes.”

“How many zeroes are we talking?”

“I had to use my implants to count them.”

“That’s many.” Qrow looked impressed. “What kind of car?”

“What kind do you want?”

“A Lambo?”

“If you want.”

“Hm.” Qrow scrunched his face up in consideration. “All right,” he said, and then held up a hand before James could respond. “ _But_ , I want a ring, too. An expensive one. And a proposal. In public. Flowers, music, the whole shebang.”

“What?”

“Hey, Jimmy-boy, you want this?” He gestured at himself. “You gotta earn it. Flashy public proposal or nothing.”

Now it was James turned to consider. Finally he sighed. “Agreed. I’ll arrange something.”

“Great! I look forward to seeing what you come up with.”

o/o

Two days later, James took Glynda ring shopping with him. She seemed to find the entire situation very amusing, often making jokes about how happy she was sure James and Qrow would be together. He didn’t bother reminding her that the marriage was a sham and that they would be getting divorced as soon as the money was sorted out- he had known her long enough to know she wouldn’t listen.

Besides, he needed her help picking out a ring.

“Do you think Qrow would like this one?” he asked, pointing at a frankly gaudy silver ring inlaid with rubies. “Or what about this one?” Garnets this time. Qrow liked red gems and silver, and both would match well with his clothes. “The ruby one would bring out his eyes. What do you think, Glynda?”

“I’m starting to think your big crush on Qrow isn’t as past-tense as you like to say it is,” Glynda said.

James just frowned. “I do not have a crush on Qrow. Anymore,” he added, a blush painting his neck bright pink. “I’m over that.”

“Sure,” Glynda said, disbelief dripping from her tone. “That’s why you know exactly which of two almost identical stones will bring out Qrow’s eyes the best. _I_ can’t see the difference in them.”

“ _You_ don’t have cybernetic implants.”

“I also don’t have a crush on Qrow.” She clasped her hands behind her back and sauntered over to look into a different display case. “Why not something gold?”

“Qrow likes silver,” James said. “All of his jewelry is silver. His engagement ring should be silver, too.”

“You know it’s a fake engagement, right? Why does it matter?”

“Because if he doesn’t like the ring he could go back on the arrangement.” He went back to looking at the two rings, before finally beckoning an attendant over. “That one,” he said, pointing at the one with rubies. “Can I have that resized into an 8 ½?”

Once he had finished making the arrangements for the ring to be resized, he turned to Glynda, who had her arms folded over her chest, giving him her most knowing look.

“Why do you know Qrow’s ring size?”

“I asked. You know, when he told me to get him an engagement ring and I knew it’d be easier to make sure it fit from the get-go.”

This got him a pout, and Glynda didn’t say anything more as they left the jeweler and headed down the street. “So what are you going to do for the proposal?”

His eyes danced in amusement at that. “Something that will play perfectly well to Qrow’s need to be the center of attention,” he said. “He wants flashy? I can do flashy.”

“Oh lord…”

o/o

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Tai asked, after Qrow told him about his plans to marry James. They were bringing in groceries, while Summer and Raven put them away in the kitchen. “I mean… you and James have a history, don’t you?”

Qrow scowled. “If you are referring to a superficial crush back when we first met, save me some trouble. That was ten years ago. I’m past it.”

“You still think he’s attractive, though,” Raven pointed out. Qrow scowled.

“Anyone with eyes and an attraction to men can see he’s attractive,” he said. “That’s not a crush, that’s just a statement of fact. Fish swim, birds fly, Jimmy is attractive. Even Tai thinks so.”

“I said he was handsome,” Tai said. “That’s different than attractive.”

Qrow just waved that away. “Anyway, it’ll be fine. We’ll get married, Jimmy will get his money, and then we’ll get divorced. In the meantime I get my student loans paid off and a swank new car to replace my beat up old hunk of junk.”

“That James has offered to replace for you several times already,” Summer said, “ _Without_ condition of marriage.”

“I ain’t a charity case.” Qrow huffed. “This time I’m actually earning the replacement.”

“You know it’s not about charity,” Summer said. “James is just a nice guy. And it’s not like it would have put him out.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Qrow said. “Guy’s gotta have his pride and draw the line somewhere.”

“If you say so,” Raven said, shaking her head. “If you ask me, you should have just taken the replacement. Then you wouldn’t have to be pulled into a sham marriage. What would mom say, if she knew?”

“She’d want to know why I hadn’t held out for more, and you know it.”

The pair exchanged matching glares, before Raven finally shrugged and gave him a smug smile. “Fine. I’m sure you and James will be very happy together.”

“Oh _ha ha_. You’re _hilarious_ , Rae.”

o/o

Qrow dropped by to see James after work that Friday, to find out how the proposal plan was going. The fact that James hadn’t said anything about it since had him worried, but when he asked James just told him that he was waiting on the ring to be resized. Qrow gave him a stern look.

“It better be a good one.”

“I’m sure you’ll like it,” James assured him. “You can ask Glynda if you don’t believe me, she helped me pick it out.”

“What, you don’t know me well enough to pick out a good ring on your own?” He mock-pouted. “I’m hurt, Jimmy. I might not even marry you, since you obviously don’t even know me that well.”

James just laughed, not even a little put off. “I just needed a second opinion. The final decision was mine, I assure you.”

He halted the conversation when the door opened and a young girl came in, a pink bow atop her red curls and a delighted grin on her face. Penny, James’ daughter and his pride and joy. She gave Qrow a wave.

“Hello, Uncle Qrow! Father, Cinder was here again. She wanted to know if you were married yet.”

“What did you tell her?”

“Exactly what you said. That she could have Great-Grandfather’s money over your dead body.”

“And what did she say in return?”

“That she wouldn’t need to go to such extreme measures. Father, _are_ you going to get married?”

“The arrangements are already being made,” he said, gesturing at Qrow, who beckoned Penny to come over and sit between them. Penny let out a squeal of delight and bounced down onto the couch.

“You are going to marry Uncle Qrow? That is perfect! That means that Ruby and I will be cousins!”

This got a roar of laughter from Qrow, and a quiet grin from James, who looped an arm around her shoulders and hugged her to him. “You approve, then?”

“Yes! I was hoping you might marry Ms. Glynda, so I could have a mother, but this is even better!”

“I don’t think her girlfriend’d be too happy about that, kiddo,” Qrow said. “And since Jimmy’s scared of both of them, it’s best not to even try. Nah, I’m the better option all around.”

“I’m not afraid of them, I just don’t think it’s wise to antagonize them.”

“Right. Cause you’re afraid of them.”

“ _Qrow_.”

“ _Jimmy_ ,” Qrow mimicked, reaching over to flick James. James just batted his hand away, while Penny snuggled into his side, beaming. Qrow reached down to tickle her playfully. “What do you think, Puff-n-stuff? Wanna be in our wedding? You can give your old man away.”

Penny nodded enthusiastically, and the next twenty minutes were spent in Qrow and Penny planning increasingly elaborate weddings, with occasional interjections by James to reign them in. By the time Qrow had to leave, Penny was breathless with laughter, and obviously delighted by this new development.

Once Qrow was gone, she curled up with her head pillowed on James’ lap, smiling up at him. He gave her a fond look.

“What’s that grin about?” he asked.

“I am happy that you and Uncle Qrow stopped dancing around one another,” she said. “That’s all.”

“What?”

“I have to go call Ruby!” she said, quite suddenly, and bounced up and out of the room before James could properly react. He stared at the door, stunned. Dancing around one another?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James proposes... again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How about that proposal, huh?
> 
>  
> 
> [The song in question](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8KVE2TBADQ)

o/o

Oh Saturday, James called and asked Qrow to join him at a dinner theater that night.

“One of my former students is performing,” he said. “Flynt Coal, do you remember him?”

“The kid with the trumpet?” At James’ affirmative hum, he smiled. “Yeah, I remember him. Kid had a set of pipes that could make an angel cry and a trumpet to match.”

“I’m glad you remember him,” James said. “He arranged to have me in the front row of his first professional gig and I’ve got an extra seat to fill.”

“An extra seat to fill? Gee, Jimmy. You sure know how to make a guy feel special,” Qrow teased. “I have to get gussied up, I assume?”

“Yes. It’s a formal occasion.”

“All right, I’ll break out the tux. What time are you picking me up?”

“Six-thirty work? I’m dropping Penny off for the sleepover anyway, I can pick you up then.”

“All right. See you then, Tinman.”

o/o

Raven sprawled out on Qrow’s bed while he got ready for the night. Partly so they could chat while he dressed, but mostly because he’d need her help with his tie. He could never get the hang of tying it, no matter how many fancy dos James invited him to.

He hated getting gussied up like this, but he had to admit that it was worth it once he was done- the suit had been a gift from James, and it was perfectly tailored to him. He looked sharp enough to cut steel when he was wearing it. Even Raven, always reluctant to give him any kind of compliment, had to admit it.

“He’s going to propose tonight,” Raven said, while Qrow triple-checked his buttons. “You know that, right?”

“Yeah, kinda figured,” Qrow replied. “He said the ring’d be ready by Saturday, and it’s Saturday.” He sat down on the end of the bed. “How do you think he’ll do it?”

“Something stupid and romantic. James is the romantic sort.”

“You know we’re not actually a couple, right?”

Raven snorted. “Yet.“

“ _Raven_.” There was a warning in both tone and expression, but both vanished as Yang and Ruby appeared in the doorway. “Hey, you two. How do I look?”

“Really handsome!” was Ruby’s cheery comment, while Yang chirped a “Super!” and flashed a double thumbs up that went a bit wide on the right. She frowned at her arm, a touch of concentration on her face while she got it to move in where she wanted it. Qrow gave her a sympathetic look.

“Calibrations gone off again?”

“Yeah.” She looked disgruntled. The cybernetic arm was a state-of-the-art (courtesy of James, who would never dream of letting his friends’ daughter settle for less), but the life of an active teenage girl meant that the calibrations sometimes went out of whack. This was apparently normal, and most cybernetics users knew how to make the minor adjustments needed, but Yang hadn’t got the hang of them yet.

Qrow smiled reassuringly and looped an arm around her neck, ruffling her hair. “I’ll get Jimmy to look at it when he gets here,” he said.

“Thanks, Uncle Qrow,” Yang said. Suddenly her face lit up. “Hey, is it true you’re gonna marry Uncle James?”

Qrow didn’t do much more than nod before Ruby leaped to her feet, bouncing on his bed a little. “Penny and I are gonna be cousins!” she cheered, then wobbled and flopped over, landing on Raven with an oof. “Whoops. Sorry, Mama. Are you okay?”

Raven was fine- just winded- and she flashed Ruby a thumbs up as she sat up. “Ruby, you’ve been told about jumping on beds. Especially other people’s beds.”

Ruby just look properly chastised, and scooted over to sit on the end of the bed. After a moment, her cheer came back, though. “Yang! We’re! Going! To! Be! Cousins! With! Penny!”

“I heard,” Yang said, grinning. “And we’re gonna have a billionaire uncle.”

“You kids already _have_ a billionaire uncle,” Qrow said. “You’ve been calling Jimmy your uncle almost since we met him.”

“Yeah, but now it’ll be official and not just honorary.”

“I don’t know what that changes, he already spoils you kids rotten anyway,” Raven said, sitting up. “Come on you two, it’s time to get dinner going and Qrow needs to finish getting ready anyway. You can pester him about James later.”

She shooed them out of the room ahead of her, but Ruby hung back, giving Qrow a smile.

“I’m glad you’re marrying Uncle James,” she said. “He always makes you so happy.”

o/o

James and Penny arrived at the house at promptly a quarter to six, and had taken no more than a handful of steps inside than Ruby had leaped into James' arms, calling cheerful greetings interjected with “Didja bring me anything?”

“I might have something in here,” James said, setting her down to greet Penny while he rummaged into the inside pocket of his jacket. He produced a large pack of jelly beans with a smile. “Here we go. Test flavors by the Schnee Sweets Company, courtesy of Winter.”

Ruby cheered and took the jelly beans, and coaxed him down so she could kiss his cheek. “Thanks, Uncle James!” she said. Then she took Penny’s hand. “Come on, Penny! Let’s go taste them all!”

They dashed up the stairs laughing; James called a parting, “Make sure you write down which flavors you like!” and got a muffled “Yes, sir!” from both before the door closed. James turned to Yang, leaning on the doorframe and watching him.

“Qrow said your calibrations were off,” he said. “May I?”

She nodded. “Please.”

She sat down at the dining room table and held out her arm under the light; James took a small packet of tools and his glasses from his pocket, and glanced at her for permission once more before unscrewing the panel on her forearm. They talked while he worked, James asking soft questions about how her physical therapy was going and Yang answering in kind. When he was done, he let her put the panel back on herself while he returned his tools to his pocket.

“That should have you sorted,” he said, once she had everything in place and had pulled her sleeve back down. “Make sure you write it down so you can tell Dr. Steele about it at your next physical. It’s-”

“-important that he knows the history of my calibrations,” she finished for him, her smile a mix of grateful and exasperated. “I know. And thanks.” She kissed his cheek, too, and took off upstairs, calling out that Ruby and Penny better have left her some jelly beans.

Once she was out of sight, James stood and moved over to Qrow, slouching in the doorway watching him. “Ready to go?” he asked. Qrow nodded, and James wondered what was wrong. Qrow wasn’t usually speechless unless he was annoyed enough to be surly, but he didn’t look annoyed now. “Qrow?”

“…you left your glasses on,” Qrow muttered finally, grabbing James’ arm and pulling him toward the door. “Raven! I’m taking off! Don’t wait up!”

o/o

The restaurant wasn’t the most fancy that James had taken him to, but it was definitely one of the flashiest. ‘Subtle’ was a word not in the proprietor’s vocabulary, though once the band was on stage and the lights went down, it took on a bit of an understated air that meant all eyes were on the group on stage: a large ensemble, largely brass, with their horns polished until they shone in the lights.

And front and center, standing in the spotlight, was Flynt Coal, looking like he’d just stepped out of Chicago in the nineteen-twenties, all flash and flair like he’d been born for this moment. He tipped his hat at James before he put his trumpet up and started playing, and slowly the waiters began appearing with food and the diners turned their attention to their meals.

As the night moved on, Qrow kept waiting. Every time a waiter appeared, he watched James in his periphery; whenever he looked away, he always checked his drink; when several waiters came out with a cake, he sat up expectantly, but they passed their table by and went on to sing happy birthday to another patron. Every time he was disappointed, James would just look more and more amused, so that by the time they’d finished with their desserts and were just enjoying the wine and music and conversation, Qrow was a bundle of nerves. James was _planning_ something. Qrow didn’t like when James _planned_ things.

“This next song is by request,” Flynt said, and the light fell on just him and the pianist. Qrow recognized the song- it was one he was especially fond of, though he’d never admit it in a million years. Heaven forbid anyone find out what a giant soppy fool he was, after all.

Flynt moved around the room as he played- he’d refused to limit himself to the stage, and he made it work with his performance. And really, Qrow should have picked up on the cues sooner, but he didn’t until Flynt came to a halt in front of their table and held out a hand to him, leading him into the spotlight when he got the hint and stood.

“Qrow,” Flynt said, “James has something he wants to ask you.”

He nodded to Qrow to turn around, and stepped back to start playing his trumpet, a soft countermelody to the piano, just loud enough that no one would be able to hear their conversation. Qrow turned, and there was James, standing there with his hands behind his back, eyes dancing with laughter at the stunned look on Qrow’s face.

“You said flash,” he said softly. “Music… flowers….” He brought his hand from around his back; there was a single rose in his fingers. He handed it to Qrow. “…expensive ring…”

And then he was on his knee, holding out the gaudiest ring Qrow had ever seen in his life, while Qrow’s heart stopped beating for a long moment.

“You romantic bastard,” Qrow murmured. James tilted his head.

“Flashy enough for you?”

“Yeah. Yeah that’s…” He swallowed thickly. “Yeah, I’d say that works.”

“Good.” James stood and held out a hand for Qrow’s, so he could slip the ring onto Qrow’s finger. He glanced over at Flynt and nodded. “Because it would have been very embarrassing if you’d said no.”

They headed back to their seats, Qrow willing his heart to start beating again, while Flynt put his trumpet down. “He said yes, folks,” he said, getting a round of applause before he sang the last verse of the song and let the music fade away. Qrow was aware his face was as red as the ruby on his new ring, but he couldn’t help it- he’d told James flash, but he honestly hadn’t been expecting something like that.

He really should have known better- what else would he expect from James “treats everything like a contest of measuring dicks” Ironwood?

“I got the gaudiest ring I could find,” James said. “I thought you’d appreciate that.”

And just like that, the spell was broken. Qrow cracked a cocky grin and snorted. “I prefer the word decadent,” he said. “Gaudy makes it sound fake. It’s not fake is it?” He looked at his ring. It looked real. James just laughed.

“I assure you it’s real.” He adopted a simpering voice, one usually guaranteed to reduce Qrow to a fit of giggles. “Only the absolute best for my Scarecrow,” he said. “I would never let you settle for less.”

He looked- and sounded- so ridiculous that Qrow had to set his forehead on the table to keep his laughter from being so apparent. His shoulders were shaking from it, and it was enough that he was able to ignore the way his heart had started fluttering in his chest when James called him 'my Scarecrow'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way if you don't think this proposal is coming back later then you're wrong.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Qrow demonstrate trust and also gravity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ran a bit long. Not that I think you guys will complain.

o/o

The rest of the night passed quickly. At the end of the show, Flynt came over to congratulate them personally.

“I’m real happy for your, sir,” he said. “Always thought you seemed kinda lonely- I’m glad you’ve got Mr. Branwen here to keep you company now.”

“Oh I keep him company all right,” Qrow said, looping an arm around James’ waist and waggling his eyebrows. Flynt just rolled his eyes.

“All right. I don’t need the details.” He turned to go. “I’ll see you around, sir,” he said. “And hey, if you need a wedding singer, I’m a professional now- gimme a call!”

“We’ll definitely consider you,” James said, resting his hand over the one Qrow had on his waist, twining their fingers together. “Let’s go, Qrow. We have to _celebrate_.”

Once they’d taken a few steps, though, he pulled away and was back to his usual stiff posture, hands folded behind his back, while Qrow stuffed his own into his pockets and slouched along beside him. They didn’t exactly look like a couple who had just been affianced, but anyone who knew them would have caught the way their arms brushed against one another as they walked just a little too close together.

Qrow, for his part, found a certain comfort in how warm James was beside him.

o/o

It was late, so Qrow just went home with James rather than go wake up everyone in his own house getting home at two in the morning.

“Besides,” Qrow said. “We just got engaged. We have to go home and… _celebrate_.”

James chuckled. “What did you have in mind?”

“Hmm…” Qrow leaned back and folded his hands behind his back. “I recall your gramps had a pretty full liquor cabinet.”

“He did, but I have no idea where he kept the key and I haven’t found it yet.”

“Well that’s just not fair.”

“There is the wine cellar, though. We can open a bottle of wine.”

“Now you’re talking. But why is bottle singular? We have a _lot_  of celebrating to do.”

“This is what I get for marrying a high-functioning alcoholic,” James said, sighing. “Why don’t we see how it goes? You’ve already had a lot tonight as it is.”

“Nah.”

o/o

In the end, they only opened one bottle. James was firm, and didn’t have anything like the tolerance levels Qrow had built over the years. Qrow pouted over this, but James put his foot down, and locked the wine cellar to make his point.

“Mean.” He flopped back in the puffy couch in James’ room, taking a long drink from his glass, while James sat on the other end and took gentlemanly sips of his own. Qrow pointed at him. “Now you have to make it up to me.”

“And how do you propose I do that?” James said, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Well…” Qrow considered this, then squinted at him. “You know how _most_  people celebrate engagements, right?”

He raised an eyebrow suggestively. James laughed. “Qrow, you’re drunk.”

“Little bit.” He set his wine down and scooted closer. “Come on, Jimmy,” he said. “What’ll it hurt?

“Our friendship?” He set his own glass down and stood, putting several feet of distance between them, arms folded behind his back. Formal and aloof, just like always. “I know you view sex very casually, but I don’t. You know that. Your friendship is too valuable to me for me to throw that away for a quick fumble.”

Qrow sank down into the couch, reaching for his glass again. “Fine, fine. No sex. But you still gotta make it up to me about the wine.”

“How?” His face was still stern; Qrow’s attempt to lighten the mood hadn’t worked. Qrow shrugged. “I don’t know. Breakfast in bed later, or something.”

James’ expression softened a little. “All right,” he said. “I’ll even make it myself.”

“Spare me your attempts at cooking. You have a chef. Let him do it.” He hauled himself to his feet. All of his energy had fallen out of him, and he just wanted to sleep now. “Am I bunking in the usual room?”

“Yes. If you need anything, just let me know.”

He shuffled out, but James stopped him just as he got through the door.

“Qrow,” he said, voice softer than before. “You’re too important to me to lose. That’s all.”

There was a pause, and Qrow waved his words away. “Hey, it was just a suggestion. Not like I’m going to lose sleep over you turning me down. Might have bruised my ego a bit but…” He shrugged. “Night, James, See you in the morning.”

“…goodnight, Qrow.”

o/o

Qrow woke the next morning to the smell of bacon and pancakes wafting through the room, and James standing over him with a tray of food.

“Breakfast in bed, as promised,” he said, setting the tray over Qrow’s lap when the other sat up. “Feeling okay?”

“Head hurts,” Qrow grumbled, reaching for the aspirin James had been thoughtful enough to bring as well. He tucked into his breakfast then, a comfortable silence settling over them both. James was doing something on his scroll while Qrow ate, and Qrow tuned him out, attention on his breakfast. Suddenly, Qrow remembered the previous night, and started choking on his pancakes. James moved over to help him, but he waved the other away and reached for the water on his tray (seriously Jimmy, water?) and took a long gulp of it.

“Is it my hangover talking, or did I proposition you last night?”

“No, you did.” James set his scroll aside. “I assumed you were drunk and turned you down.”

“Yeah, I remember that part.” Qrow hung his head. “Sorry.”

“It’s forgotten,” James said, a slight shortness in his tone. “You were drunk.”

“You think I wouldn’t hit on you sober?”

“I think sober you’d be able to remember my feelings about casual sex.”

“Oh right, you mean that you’re a big girl’s blouse.”

“That I prefer to limit myself to partners I feel love or at least strong affection for.”

“Right. That you’re a big girl’s blouse.”

James just frowned, while Qrow went back to his breakfast. It was always fun to get under James’ skin first thing in the morning.

o/o

After breakfast, and after both of them had showered and changed, they headed back to the Branwen-Xiao Long-Rose household, so James could drop off Qrow and pick up Penny. He was pounced by both her and Ruby as soon as he walked through the door; Qrow mock-pouted and dropped his overnight bag to fold his arms.

“I see how it is,” he said. “Aren’t you happy to see me?”

“Hmmmm… nope!” Ruby chirped. She slid off of James’ arm and bounced onto Qrow’s instead. “Did you have fun last night? Did you get engaged?”

“What do you think?” Qrow held up his hand to show her his ring. “Second best ruby I’ve ever held,” he said, earning a bashful mumble while Ruby examined the ring.

“It’s really gaudy,” she finally said. “So, perfect for you.”

He grumbled and noogied her in response, while Summer and Tai came into the living room to join them.

“So when is the wedding gonna be?” Tai asked. “Have you decided?”

“We haven’t really had a chance to talk,” James said. “We’ll discuss all that later on, when we’ve had a chance to compare schedules.”

“Can I be your best man?” Summer asked Qrow, earning a noise of protest from Tai when Qrow shrugged and murmured an affirmative. She gave Tai a smug look. “I’ve known him longer than you have. I have best man rights.”

“She’s got a point,” Qrow said. He glanced at James. “I take you’re gonna ask Glynda?”

“She already said she’d do it. Something about wanting to throw me a bachelor party… makes me nervous…”

“Ooh, I get to plan Qrow a bachelor party!” Summer clasped her hands together and grinned, and suddenly Qrow understood why James was nervous.

“We should get going,” James said, looping an arm around Penny’s shoulders and pulling her to him fondly. “I’ll see you all later.”

“What, no kiss goodbye for your fiance?”

Qrow’s voice was teasing, but James just shot him a stern look before turning and steering Penny out to the car. Qrow rolled his eyes and shut the door, grabbing his bag so he could head upstairs to his room. He dropped it onto the floor and and flopped out across his bed.

“It was just a joke, Jimmy,” he mumbled into the comforter.

o/o

James spent Sunday afternoon with Penny- his Sundays always belonged to her, whatever else he had to do during the week. He also made sure to take time to talk to her about Qrow, and the wedding, so he could be certain that she was behind him on this decision. He didn’t want to do anything that would make her unhappy.

“I like Uncle Qrow,” Penny said, when he brought it up. “And I know how important it is to you to be able to continue Great-Grandfather’s work. And Uncle Qrow makes you so happy. I am glad you and he are getting married. And I am looking forward to the wedding! Weddings are fun. There is dancing, and food, and beautiful flowers!” She leaned into his side, making a content noise. “And I have never had two parents, so that will be exciting, too.”

“Penny, you know this arrangement is only temporary, right?”

“That’s not what Aunt Raven says,” Penny said. “But I know. It will still be exciting to have two parents in the meantime.”

“As long as you know,” James said. His voice was distant; he was frowning over her words. What was that supposed to mean? Why didn’t she think the arrangement was temporary?

He decided it was just Raven being Raven, and set it aside for now. He’d ask Qrow later.

o/o

Winter was waiting in James’ classroom when he arrived at the school that morning. This wasn’t unusual, but today she looked especially annoyed and he could guess, judging by the newspaper sitting on his desk, that this had something to do with his recent engagement. He stepped away from the doorway and took a deep breath to prepare himself, then pushed it open and gave Winter his usual cheery good morning.

“Sir!” She snapped into attention, then gave a wary glance at the newspaper. “I... suppose congratulations are in order,” she said hesitantly. “On your engagement. To Qrow.”

The words looked like they physically pained her to say. He pursed his lips. “Thank you,” he said, moving over to put his case on the desk. Winter stayed where she was; it was clear there was something else she wanted to say. He raised an eyebrow at her. “Yes?”

She hesitated another several seconds, before finally turning. “It’s just... Qrow? Really?”

“You object?”

“Of course not! But.” She folded her hands behind her back- a nervous habit she’d picked up from him, he knew. She fidgeted. “He’s not...”

“Not...?”

“...not really...” He said nothing more, his eyes prompting her to continue, and she snapped back into attention. “I was just... not aware the two of you were involved with one another. Sir.”

James smiled. “We were being discreet,” he said. “It seems we succeeded a little too well.”

"I suppose." Winter moved nearer him, eyeing him curiously. “Are you sure about this, sir? Qrow has never struck me as the marrying kind.”

James put a hand on her shoulder. “Winter, I know you and Qrow don’t get along, but he really is a good man- I wouldn’t be marrying him if he weren’t.” He glanced up; the door had opened and the students were beginning to come in. He turned back to her. “Thank you for your well-wishes,” he said, and moved away, glancing at the pair of students that had just come in. “Good morning,” he said cheerily. “Enjoy your weekend?”

One of them- Nora- snapped off a cheerful salute. “Spec-tacular!” she said, and, “I hear you had a good weekend too! Congratulations on finally taking that next step with Mr. Qrow.”

Winter looked baffled. “You knew about them?” she asked. Nora rolled her eyes.

“Tch-ya, everyone knows about them. And we’re all really happy for you, sir!”

James wasn’t quite sure what to do with that information. He cleared his throat, turned away. Shuffled some papers on his desk. “Right. Thank you for your well wishes.”

“I guess you weren’t that discreet after all,” Winter said, equally baffled.

o/o

There weren't any phys-ed classes first period, and since the drama class had taken over his gym to rehearse their latest production, Qrow instead wandered down the halls to find some way to occupy himself. He bypassed Tai's classroom- the other was giving a test that morning, and he didn't wish to disturb the students. Instead he ambled down to the high school wings, deciding to go bother James instead. He could usually be counted on for entertainment, especially if Winter was assisting the class that day. Winter was good for entertainment, too.

(James told him off constantly for antagonizing her, but he just didn't understand. She made it so _easy_ to get under her skin.)

James was mid-lecture when Qrow walked in; he paused and glanced up to see if Qrow needed something but Qrow just waved a hand for him to continue and moved over to sit on his desk to watch. There were some titters from among the students, but James just shook his head and got back to his lecture.

He was in good form today, Qrow thought. He was sure that the laws of gravity had never been given such a fine send-up since Newton fell asleep under that apple tree or whatever happened, Qrow wasn't sure. Maybe _he_ should pay attention.

It was hard to focus though, with James pacing in front of the classroom in teacher-mode, hands folded behind his back and brow slightly furrowed from concentration. As Qrow watched, one of the kids raised a hand to ask a question and James' face changed instantly, swapping from stony concentration to open and welcoming, a gentle warmth flooding those blue eyes of his while he listened to the question and pursed his lips to consider the answer.

Those wonderfully kissable lips.

Qrow suddenly became aware that everyone in the room was looking at him. He shook his head. “Sorry, what? I wasn't paying attention.”

“Clearly,” James said. “If you were one of my students I'd ask you to stay after class.”

“I hope that isn't some kind of kinky roleplay suggestion,” Qrow said. The class tittered again, and Qrow smirked when he saw the faint edges of a blush staining James' neck. “You needed something?”

“I was going to ask you to help me demonstrate the effect of gravity on solid mass,” he said.

“I'm not falling for that again. Last time you threw me out of a window.”

“You survived.”

“You still threw me out of a window.”

James sighed, and raised a hand. “I solemnly swear that I will not throw you out of a window this time.”

“For some reason I'm not filled with confidence,” Qrow said, pushing off of the desk and heading to the front of the room anyway. James held out a hand to him, and he took it. “What are you going to do?”

“Do you trust me?”

Implicitly, despite the way James' eyes were dancing with some hidden mischief. He nodded, and suddenly found himself dipped back, James' hand still around his and his other on the small of Qrow's back, supporting him perfectly. He couldn't possibly weigh much to James, not with the strength Qrow knew to be in his cybernetic half, and he slowly settled his weight on the hand supporting him, bringing up first one leg and then the other until he was balanced perfectly, legs folded against him and his body held up only by his complete faith in James not to let him fall.

One of the kids- Qrow thought it sounded like Jaune, but he had his eyes locked on James' and couldn't tell- spoke up. “Sir,” he said. “How are you doing that?”

“Anyone got an answer?” James asked, and, “Nora?”

“The power of love?” Nora suggested, sending the class tittering again, while Qrow slowly lowered his legs slightly and then, with just one quick glance of warning at James, let go of his hand and rolled backwards off of the one supporting him. By the time he'd regained his footing and was stood next to James, James had already returned to his usual stance, explaining to the class the principles of balance and weights and counterweights and how, thanks to an understanding of gravity, there were people able to balance vast weights on small, fragile surfaces.

By the time the bell rang, Qrow had gone back to sitting on James' desk. James came back to join him as he headed out of the room and back down the halls to the gym.

“Was there actually something you wanted or did you just come to bother me?” he asked.

“The theatre class took over the gym,” Qrow said, and shrugged. “Needed somewhere to hang out. I thought my _fiance_ might appreciate my company.”

The comment got him a fond eyeroll. Qrow folded his hands behind his head. “So where's Winter? Doesn't she assist you on Mondays?”

“I knew you had ulterior motives. She's in the library. I sent her to make copies.” There was a pause, and, “She doesn't approve of our engagement.”

“Thinks I'm not good enough for you?” Qrow suggested. James nodded.

“More or less. She said you weren't the marrying kind.”

“I'm not usually,” Qrow said, stopping outside the gym doors. “But I thought I'd make an exception for you.”

Whatever James might have said, he didn't get a chance; two students passing by into the gym overheard them and 'aww'ed', effectively shutting down his reply and sending a fresh blush spreading up his neck. Qrow grinned. “I have to go make teenagers exercise now, _dear_ ,” he said. “And you have to get back to class too. Shoo.”

He flicked his hand, and blew a kiss at James just as he was turning, sending his blush from faint pink to full, undeniable scarlet. He laughed, and turned to head into the gym.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone is wondering, James teaches high school physics and Qrow teaches middle school gym. Winter is James' assistant teacher.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Netflix and chill?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should probably sit on this chapter a little longer but honestly I had so much fun writing it that I can't wait to share it.

o/o

The next few weeks went by as normal, with the two getting on with some initial wedding planning things. They set the date tentatively in mid-June, which would give them about six months to plan, and then had looked at each other for about three seconds before suggesting, as one, that they hire a wedding planner.

Her name was Amber.

She was friendly and laughed easily, and she came highly recommended by Ozpin, who stopped talking and swiftly changed the subject as soon as they asked why in the  _world_ he'd needed to know a wedding planner and why he knew that she was worth hiring. They came out of  _that_ lunch feeling very confused. They stood outside Ozpin's door for several minutes, staring blankly ahead of them.

“Did you just think of Ozpin having sex?” Qrow asked.

“Yes.”

“...I need a drink.”

“Agreed.”

Despite the questionable recommendation, though, Amber made a good impression. She also swore that she wouldn't take over their wedding and would discuss with them  _everything_ , which was a relief. Qrow had been worried she'd turn their quiet wedding into a huge extravaganza just because James could afford it. He liked flash and he liked attention, but not for something like this.

“There are a few people I'll have to invite for politics,” James said. “Business associates and others that I can't offend, but for the most part we can get away with a small gathering. What do you think of an outdoor wedding?”

“Outdoor weddings are nice, as long as the weather holds. We're gonna be boiling in our tuxes, though. Well,” he added, eyeing James' right side. “I will, because I'm not self air-conditioned. You should be fine.”

James had just looked smug at that, prompting Qrow to flip him off and mutter to himself.

o/o

Valentine's Day was coming up. Normally, James would spend the day with some date or other that Tai and Raven had conspired to set him up with, but this year he would be spending it with Qrow. It had been Qrow's idea- apparently James wasn't the only one Tai and Raven always set up every year, and with the engagement they had felt it wouldn't be appropriate. So he'd suggested they spend the evening watching movies at James' place.

“It's actually kind of a relief,” he said, while they got popcorn and nachos and other snacks ready for their movie binge. James turned enough to raise a questioning eyebrow, and he elaborated. “Not being set up. I only let them cause they insist- you know how it is. But it's such a pain. And you'd think Raven would be better at picking dates that I'll actually like, but she gets worse and worse every year.”

“She does all right with mine,” James said, grabbing the popcorn from the microwave and setting it on a tray with their nachos and drinks. “All very nice, very lovely. All my type.”

“Wonder why she does so good with you and so badly with me?” Qrow said, following him into the tv room. “I'm her twin, she should know me better than that. What movie are we watching?”

“The first three Vampire Mummy Werewolf movies,” James said, grabbing the remote and setting their tray of food on the table beside the pile of blankets and pillows that Qrow always turned into a movie-watching nest. Qrow stopped in the middle of reaching for the feather mattress that would make the base of his nest, and stood up straight.

“You mean the first two and the fourth one,” he said. When James shook his head, he scowled. “We are _not_ watching that train wreck of a third movie.”

“I _like_ the third Vampire Mummy Werewolf movie,” James countered. “So we're watching it.”

“You only like it because the Werewolf Zombie Catwoman is hot,” Qrow said. “Gimme that remote.” He snatched the remote up from the coffee table. “We're watching something else, since you have such bad taste in Vampire Mummy Werewolf movies. What's your Netflix password?”

“Penny, but change the e to a three and add a one to the end.”

Qrow stopped on the password screen, and turned to stare at James before turning back with a shake of his head. “Why don't you just make it password,” he muttered, putting in the password given and pulling up the movies. “Let's see... here we go, A Flea in Paris. That looks promising.”

He pulled the movie up, then paused it on the opening screen and got back to work on his nest. He never let them start the movie until they were both hunkered down, surrounded by soft, comfortable pillows and blankets with their snack tray between them.

The movie was not great. It was (Qrow maintained) better than the third Vampire Mummy Werewolf movie, but despite a promising setup they spent most of the movie howling in laughter at how bad it was.

They watched two more movies after that. James could not say, later, what those movies were. He  _was_ paying attention, but about halfway through the second, Qrow moved their now-empty snack tray aside so he could wrap a blanket around both of them, and snuggled into James' side, and James quite suddenly lost all awareness of anything besides Qrow, warm and solid against him.

Qrow spent a lot of time in James' personal space- he was tactile, he was like honey, he got  _everywhere_ . Now James was  _aware_ of Qrow in his personal space, in a way he had not been in a very long time. It made his skin burn hot, until Qrow complained of the heat and threw the blanket aside, crawling over James' lap to press into his metal side instead, which was cool to the touch thanks to internal temperature regulators.

It was... unhelpful. James jumped to his feet.

“I need to use the bathroom,” he said, excusing himself and hurrying to the bathroom. He checked it was locked, then moved over to the sink and splashed some water on his face. He leaned on the sink and took a few deep breaths, trying to get control of himself.

This was not good. This was not good at all- he was supposed to be  _past_ his crush on Qrow, his silly, superficial crush on his  _friend_ . He wasn't supposed to be hyperaware of his  _friend_ at his side, wasn't supposed to be suppressing the urge wrap his arms around his  _friend_ and pull him closer, wasn't supposed to have his cock twitching at the proximity of his  _friend_ .

There was a knock at the door. “All right in there, Jimbalaya?”

James tightened his grip on the sink, and took a deep breath. “I'm fine,” he called back, and, “I don't think the nachos agreed with me.”

“Gross.” He heard Qrow moving away from the door. “I'm gonna go grab a couple beers out the fridge. Want one?”

“Sure. Thanks.”

By the time he heard Qrow pass back by, he had managed to pull himself together. He took a deep breath and headed back to the tv room, taking the beer Qrow held up to him and, after a moment's hesitation, sitting on the couch rather than in the nest beside Qrow, murmuring an excuse about an upset stomach and wanting to stretch out when Qrow raised an eyebrow at him. Qrow seemed to accept this, and started the movie playing again.

They'd both fallen asleep by the time Penny got home from the party she and Ruby had gone to. She peeked into the tv room, and smiled. Her father had fallen asleep on his front with his arm thrown off the side of the couch, and Uncle Qrow was leaning against it, head pillowed on his shoulder. Her eyes danced with silent laughter, and she pulled the door closed as softly as possible, tiptoeing upstairs so she didn't disturb them on her way to bed.

Temporary. Sure.

o/o

“So how was your Valentine's Day, sir?” Pyrrha asked that Monday. “Good, I hope.”

James nodded. “Qrow and I made a blanket nest and watched movies. An enjoyable evening.”

A few seats away, Velvet leaned her chin in one hand and sighed happily. “You two are so sweet together,” she said. “Honestly, it's so heartwarming. And to know that you can still find true love so late in life-”

James looked up sharply at that. “What do you mean 'late in life'?” he said.

“Oh- you know!” Velvet waved her hands a bit, while the students who had arrived laughed. “Because- everyone is so convinced that they have to find love _immediately_ , when they're young- I mean- you know, not that you're _not_ young, but...” She trailed off. “Perhaps I should stop talking now?”

“Good choice,” James said. He shook his head and turned back to the papers he'd been going through. “ _Late in life_ ,” he muttered. “ _Honestly_.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cili is the only one who will understand that joke about the flea movie but the rest of you can probably enjoy it too.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Yang spend a little time together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna try to have this chapter up last night but I literally fell asleep in the middle of writing it whoops.

o/o

The first thing Amber wanted to do was choose a location. “It'll be a lot easier on me if I know the space I'm working with,” she explained. “Have you thought of somewhere yet?”

“We know we want an outdoor wedding,” James said. “What about the Emerald Forest? It's beautiful in the summer.”

“Emerald Forest is good,” Qrow agreed. “It'll be shady, too, so not as hot as if we were in the open.”

“I'll make the necessary arrangements, then,” Amber said. “Got a date in mind?”

“Sometime in June,” Qrow told her. “We still need to get our schedules together to figure out something specific. But it'll be on a Saturday.”

“All right. I'll do what I can with that, but get back to me on the date soon, okay?”

“Of course.”

As they were leaving, James caught Qrow humming and raised an eyebrow at him. Qrow waggled his own back, and swapped over to singing.

“Oh they say when you marry in June, you're a bride...groom... all your life. And the bridegroom who marries in June gets a sweetheart for a... husband.” He broke off. “Hmm. Doesn't quite work with the male pronouns.”

James looked amused, anyway. “That reminds me,” he said. “We need a wedding singer.  _Do_ we want to hire Flynt? I promised him we'd consider it.”

Qrow nodded. “You know anyone else with a voice that pure? Besides, weren't you the one that helped him get lessons in the first place?”

“I arranged it, yes,” James said. “He had talent and drive and passion, and I didn't want to see those go to waste just because his family was having financial trouble.”

“Yeah, I seem to recall you helping them out of that financial trouble too,” Qrow said, side-eyeing James, who'd gone red at the neck again.

“They needed help and I offered it to them,” he said. “It wasn't that big a deal.”

“Not to you,” Qrow said. “Pretty big deal to them, I think. Cause that boy's gonna make a name for himself, and he couldn't do that if you hadn't been there to make sure he got the training, and didn't have to worry about his family while he was.”

James' blush had spread up to his ears. “It was the right thing to do,” he said. “Do we have to talk about it?”

“Yeah, cause I'm going somewhere with this.” They both halted, and he turned and poked James in the chest. “You're a good guy, Jimmy. You care about people and you want to help them and if you could you'd just take care of everybody, and that's why I'm doing all this. Cause I know you, and I know you can and will do a lot of good with this money, and I know Cinder will do a lot of harm if she gets her hands on it.”

“Qrow...” James' blush had spread to his face now, but he also looked very pleased with himself. He folded his hands behind his back. “I hope you know how much I appreciate you going through all this trouble.”

Qrow just waved that away, and the two carried on walking. “Eh, don't worry about it. You're making it up to me and anyway I'm having fun.”

o/o

February became March and winter began to bleed into spring. Yang was scheduled for a physical the first week of March, so James picked her up that morning and the two drove upstate to Atlas. It had become a standing arrangement for them since the accident: James got the feeling it helped Yang to know that she was with someone who'd been in her position before.

“I threw off my calibrations again yesterday,” she said, when they stopped for breakfast on the way. He'd noticed she wasn't using her arm much that morning.

“Mercury again?” he guessed. She nodded. “What were you fighting about this time?”

“I don't know. Something stupid. It's always something stupid. Every time we get in the same room together it's the same thing.” She huffed a lock of hair out of her face. “Dad says if we don't stop fighting he's gonna see about getting us separated.”

“But you don't want that,” James guessed. “You like having someone to fight with.”

“Well, yeah. So does Mercury, I think. That's why we're always picking at each other. You know?”

She eyed him hopefully through her bangs, and he nodded. “I know.”

She seemed to feel better after that. Once they were done eating, he passed her his pocket toolkit and talked her through fixing her calibrations herself. She needed to learn sooner or later, and she'd gotten steadier with her left hand since the last time he'd tried.

o/o

Winter was covering James' classes, since he was out of town that day. It was a huge responsibility, and she was very proud that he trusted her with it.

Now if only his bothersome fiance didn't feel the need to come pester her.

“Don't you have a class to teach?” she demanded, when he came in.

“S'lunchtime for the kiddies,” he said. He hopped up onto the desk. “Thought I'd come down and see how you were getting on without Jimmy to hold your hand for you.”

“I'm doing just fine,” she huffed. The students were doing group presentations later that month, and they were meant to be working on them now- and they had, more or less, before Qrow turned up. Now they were watching the exchange with great interest, and Winter was bristling at the interruption. “Now go away.”

“Nope,” Qrow said, lips popping on the 'puh'. “I'm staying right here. Don't worry- I won't be a bother. I'll just sit quietly.”

He stared defiantly at her, and the two locked eyes for a moment, engaging in a silent battle of wills. Finally she frowned. “Fine,” she said. “Just don't stare at my ass the way you do Dr. Ironwood's,” she said.

She turned away with a haughty air, but Qrow just leaned back on his hands and smirked at her. “Yours ain't as nice as his,” he said, earning a soft 'ohhhhhh' from the class.

Winter glared around at them all, and they hurried back to working on their projects, talking quietly amongst themselves. Qrow held to his word, though- he didn't say anything, or interrupt anyone, or draw attention to himself in any way.

Which was honestly worse than if he had, because at least then Winter could have had a good reason to make him leave. As it was, she just didn't want him here because he weakened her authority in front of the students. Though, once the show was over, they went right back to working the same as they had before Qrow came in. Winter sighed. She supposed they were just used to him by now.

o/o

Once Yang's physical was over, James took her shopping. It was a part of their standing arrangement- something relaxing after something stressful. James enjoyed it as much as Yang did, though not exactly for the same reasons. He didn't have any siblings, and so he didn't have any nieces and nephews to spoil- so he'd just adopted Yang and Ruby and spoiled them instead. They certainly didn't mind, and it was nice to have someone to pamper that wasn't too proud to accept his gifts the way all of his friends were.

“Hold on,” James said, when they passed by a silver shop. Something in the window had caught his eyes. “I need to get something.”

She followed him inside, wandering around the shop and admiring the wares while he talked to the proprietor. She was looking at a silver cow creamer when he called to go; five minutes later, while they made their way through the shopping center, she held her new cow creamer up and wondered what in the world she was going to do with it while also thinking it'd look cool on her desk.

“So what was that about?” she asked him. “What'd you have to get?”

“Just a present,” he said. “For Qrow. I saw something I thought he might like.”

He didn't offer any more explanation, and she didn't ask, but when he looked away she made a face that Qrow, were he there to see it, would have referred to as 'looking at the camera like she was on The Office'. She tucked her cow creamer into her bag and shoved her hands into her pockets.

“So can I be in your wedding?”

“If Qrow doesn't mind. What did you want to do in the wedding?”

“I don't know. Need a bridesmaid?”

This got a laugh. “Well, seeing as we have no bride...”

“Groomsman, then. I can rock a tux.”

“I'll think about it. We are in need of groomsmen- er, groomswomen?”

“Groomswoman works. Lemme know what you decide.”

o/o

Yang was laughing when James got her home that evening, while James had a face that everyone who knew her recognized as “Goddammit, Yang”. It sent a jolt straight through Qrow's chest to see. After the accident, when Yang had been too depressed at times to even get out of bed, Qrow had worried that his niece had lost all of her spark and the fire that burned in her eyes. But James had been there, and he'd reassured them all that it would come back with time. And he'd been there with Yang, sometimes to talk, sometimes to listen, and sometimes to just sit in comfortable silence, whenever she needed him.

Qrow had no idea what had gone on in Yang's room all those times that James was the only one she'd let in to see her, but whatever it was, it had worked. The past year had been hard for all of them, and seeing Yang back to her old self made his heart hurt in the good way.

“Qrow?” He was shaken out of his thoughts by James, raising an eyebrow at him.

“What? Sorry, Yang's pun must have shut down my brain for a minute.”

“Hey!”

“You were saying something?”

“I was asking if you wanted to grab dinner,” James said.

“Oh.” Qrow tilted his head a little. “That depends. Have you talked to Winter yet?”

“...no.” James frowned. “Should I?”

“Nope, not at all, come on, let's go.” He grabbed James' hand and pulled him toward the door, James protesting and demanding to know what he'd done to Winter this time.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt kinda bad that in Batter, even though James supposedly bonded with both Yang and Ruby, Ruby was the only one that really got any kind of focus. So I decided to see if I could fix that for this one.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peep wars and alliteration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to admit I kind of enjoy this as a slice-of-life slow burn, at least for the first act.

o/o

Easter came. Following on its heels came Discount Candy Week, and on Monday after school Qrow dragged James to the stores so they could take advantage of the sales. James had no idea why- he could afford even the most expensive candy, and Qrow made a decent enough salary that regularly priced candy was well within his means. But Qrow insisted that Discount Candy Week was important, and James sighed and helped him load up his basket with chocolate bunnies and candy chicks and far, far more Peeps than one man could eat.

“We can have a Peep war in the microwave,” Qrow said, when James remarked on them. “Peep jousting! Grab a box of toothpicks, will you? The colorful ones.”

“What is Peep jousting? And why do I suddenly have a bad feeling about my microwave?”

Qrow paused in grabbing a pack of blue Peep bunnies, and stared. “You've never done Peep jousting?”

“I've never heard of it. What is it?”

Qrow looked down at the Peeps in his hands, and grinned. “Okay, no. I can't explain it, it's something you need to experience yourself. We'll grab the toothpicks, and then I'm going to teach you about Peep wars. Oh, and you're paying for this lot.”

James rolled his eyes good-naturedly, and followed Qrow to the register. He could guess a general idea of what Peep jousting was, based on just what Qrow had said so far, but the details he wasn't sure of. He could admit that his curiosity had been sparked, and Qrow's excitement was somewhat infectious as well.

They stopped on the way home to pick up Ruby and Yang- and their friends Blake and Weiss, who were over at the time. They were happy enough to join them when Qrow informed them that they'd be having a Peep war in James' microwave, stating that it beat doing their homework any day.

“With Penny we'll have enough for a tournament,” Ruby said, after a cheer at the idea. “Though the bracket won't be even.”

“It will if Ciel is still around,” James said. It was hit or miss whether she was or not- sometimes she stayed after she and Penny had finished their tutoring, and sometimes she didn't. He had to admit, he was getting kind of excited- Ruby's delight with their unexpected plans for the evening had become tangible, as it often did with anything Ruby was excited about. He rested a hand on her shoulder while they headed out to the car, then ruffled her hair fondly before letting go.

Ciel was still over when they arrived; she consented, with a little bit of coaxing from Penny, to stay and participate in the tournament. Once that was done, Qrow began explaining Peep wars to James, Ciel, and Weiss, who had never played, while Ruby and Yang got to work on a bracket.

“It's not actually that complicated,” Qrow said. “Two Peeps enter the microwave, each has a toothpick, and the joust is over when one Peep punctures the other. The owner of the winning Peep moves on to the next round.”

“That's it?” Ciel asked. “Shouldn't there be... more to it?”

“Listen kid,” Qrow said. “This ain't the Winter Olympics- it's just a dumb fun way to kill an evening. There is some strategy involved, if that's what you're bothered by- where to place your Peep, where to place your toothpick, you can make it complicated if you want.”

“It still seems as though it all comes down to chance,” Ciel protested. “But it may be an interesting experience regardless. Perhaps it will be fun.”

“That's the spirit,” Qrow said, patting her shoulder. “Okay, everyone gets a pack of Peeps apiece, so pick your pack of Peeps and let's...” He paused, and pouted. “What's a word that means begin that starts with puh?”

“Perhaps proceed?” Penny put in, and Qrow nodded, beaming.

“Perfect! Everyone pick a pack of Peeps and let's _proceed_.”

He waited till the girls had selected their own 'teams', then went for the pink bunnies himself. James chose last, left with a box of plain yellow chicks. Each competitor was then given a different colored toothpick, and it was time to begin.

Peep wars were messy. After just the first round there was sticky melted marshmallow everywhere, and the toothpicks had to be swapped out for fresh ones. They were also fun- Qrow and Yang started a sportsman's commentary over the 'battles', pouring suspense and drama into wondering which marshmallow chick or bunny would be the first to expand into its opponent's toothpick. Then Ruby and Penny began providing background on the combatants, explaining to the waiting audience why each one was fighting and what they hoped to gain if they won the tournament.

That the match spelled death for winner and loser alike seemed not to faze them.

In the end, it was Ciel against Blake, the former having proven quite good at placing her Peeps and 'picks on the plate and the latter having gotten incredibly lucky. The eight of them crowded around the microwave, watching with held breath and anticipation to see whether strategy or luck would be the true victor of the night.

“It's all down to this one, folks,” Qrow said. “Blue Bunny vs Pink Chick, a contest that will surely go down in the history books. Ruby, what can you tell us about Blue Bunny here?”

“Oh, well, she's very clearly the underdog in this story,” Ruby said, picking up her cue. “This is her first time on the professional Peep jousting circuit and honestly no one thought she'd make it this far but she's doing wonderfully. Her opponent isn't one to be taken lightly, though. Right, Penny?”

“No, sir,” Penny said. “After all, Pink Chick has a long list of tournament wins and knows the arena very well. I am certain that she'll give Blue Bunny a run for her money, .

Qrow jumped back in. “Of course, we wish both combatants the best of luck and whoever wins, we know that we're the real winners for having gotten to witness such a spectacle. Oh, the referee is starting the match!”

James let out a little breath of laughter and hit start on the microwave, the Peeps inside circling one another as the match began.

James was glad they'd brought the girls along. It would have been boring with just the two of them, he thought. The fun came from the commentary, the crafted drama of the tournament, and the deep, primal need to make a mess for no good reason. Alone, or as a pair, that wouldn't have existed.

It was going to be hell to clean the microwave later, though.

Ciel won. Her Blue Bunny underdog pricked Blake's Pink Chick just a hair before it was pricked itself. To hear Qrow and Yang's commentary, this was exactly as intense as winning the Olympics, and Ciel momentarily forgot her reserve and cheered along with the rest before stopping and giving a delicate cough.

“Er, that is, I'm gratified by this win and by your support.”

They laughed, while James dug into the bags of chocolate from that morning and presented Ciel with a chocolate bunny wrapped in gold, bowing low and solemnly to add a bit of flourish to the presentation.

“A hard won prize,” he said very seriously. “And a hearty congratulations.”

“Thank you very much,” Ciel said. “I am honored.”

They had to clean up after that. There was marshmallow everywhere- despite the tournament being confined to the microwave, it had still managed to spread- not to mention that the microwave itself was in a horrible state. Weiss grumbled while she wet a cloth and got to work on the table.

“Don't you have a cleaner for this?” she asked, and then yelped when Yang snapped her with her own wet cloth. “Hey!”

“I have a cleaner, yes,” James said. “But this mess is excessive, and will be even harder to clean if allowed to sit overnight. I'm not going to leave it for her when the eight of us can get it cleared away relatively quickly on our own. It wouldn't be right.”

Weiss looked dubious, but James was firm, and between them they got the “stadium” cleaned and good as new. Once that was done, the girls disappeared into the living room to watch tv while James and Qrow headed into James' study to give them space. James had some papers to grade; Qrow perched on the edge of his desk and swung his feet idly while he did.

“Probably not how you intended to spend your evening,” Qrow said. “Entertaining guests, I mean.”

“No, but I don't mind. It's good for Penny to have friends to spend time with, and I think Ciel could use some nudging out of her shell as well. She's a nice enough girl, but she could stand to loosen up a bit.”

Qrow snorted. “It's funny, that's what I said about you when we first met.”

“Oh?” James raised an eyebrow, and Qrow nodded.

“Yeah. Remember? I thought you were a bit of a cold fish at the time, all stuffy and boring.” His face softened a bit. “How wrong I was...”

“Fair enough,” James said. “I thought you were just a reckless troublemaker with no direction.” He leaned back in his chair. “And I was wrong about at least one of those things.”

“Only one?”

“You're definitely a troublemaker,” James elaborated, a teasing smile tugging at his lips. “But you're only sometimes reckless, and you have more direction than you seem.”

“Well you can still be boring sometimes,” Qrow sniffed, turning away as though he were offended. “Lucky you've got me around to make you have fun.”

“What would I ever do without you?” James said drily. There was something in his eyes, though, that suggested he meant it, and Qrow suddenly looked away, cheeks pink. It was always unnerving to have James look at him like that.

“No idea,” Qrow said. His gaze landed on an ornate porcelain elephant on the shelf rather than look at James, and he kicked his feet faster. “But I'm pretty sure it would be boring.”

“Of course.”

Qrow turned back to him, and his gaze locked with those blue blue eyes. His blush spread more, and he pushed off of the desk suddenly. “I should get going,” he said. “The girls have school in the morning, not good to keep them out too late and I have to get Blake and Weiss home too...”

He babbled a little bit more along those lines while he made his way to the door, and James watched him with a furrow in his brow. At the door, Qrow stopped, and waved his hands vaguely without looking in James' direction. “I'll uh... see you tomorrow,” he said, and fled, leaving James to stare after him and wonder at how empty the room suddenly felt.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suddenly I am in love with Ciel.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shopping for tuxes and leeching air conditioning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a cameo from my RWBYsona Thaddeus. Just a wee cameo though.

o/o

By May, a date had been set for the wedding as the third Saturday in June, and there was a bit of a rush to their planning now. Granted, Amber had made sure their schedule had plenty of time in it, but there was no longer the option of putting things off- there was a time limit now, and putting things off would put unnecessary strain on Amber if they did.

“You'll need someone to perform the ceremony,” she said, over one of their many planning lunches. “Do you have someone in mind?”

“I hadn't thought of anyone,” Qrow said, and glanced at James. “What about you? Know any good priests?”

“A few, but..” James looked thoughtful for a moment. “Given the nature of our wedding... I'm not sure if it would be right to get the actual church involved. It feels a bit... sacrilegious.”

“I mean, it's not like the church has never been involved in marriages of convenience before but, yeah, I get what you're saying.”

“If you don't want to involve the clergy, you could always get someone you know to perform your wedding,” Amber suggested. “There are people who get ordained for just that reason, and it would make it more personal than a priest who has no connection to either of you.”

James raised an eyebrow at Qrow. “Well? Do you know if any of our friends are ordained?”

“Ozpin is,” Amber said. “You could ask him.”

Qrow raised an eyebrow of his own at that. “Ozpin is ordained? Wait, never mind, of course he is, this is Oz we're talking about. Think he'd do it?”

“We could ask. Do you mind?”

“Nah, seems appropriate. You?”

“Not at all.”

“That's settled then,” Amber said. “You guys talk to Ozpin, I'm sure he'll be willing.”

Ozpin was in fact willing, when they asked, and that was one more thing to check off the list. After that came clothes- tuxes for James and Qrow, as well as best man dresses for Summer and Glynda and the tux Yang insisted on, not to mention the rest of the wedding party as well. James and Qrow, along with Summer, Glynda, and Yang, went around to the tailor's the first weekend of May to make their selections and get fitted. They would send everyone else around for their fittings later, but they needed help in deciding which ones would be best.

“I was thinking white for me and Jimmy,” Qrow said. “And black for the groomsmen- and groomswoman,” he added, nodding toward Yang. “And maybe a lightish red for the dresses? What do you think, Jimmy?”

“I think you look better in dark colors,” James said, looking him over thoughtfully. Qrow waved this away.

“I'm gonna look like a stuffed turkey whatever color monkey suit I'm wearing, but you look _really good_ in a white tux.”

(Behind them, Glynda and Summer exchanged a look packed with meaning.)

“You'll look just fine,” James said. “A fitted tux does wonders for a man- or woman's- appearance.”

“White's traditional,” Qrow said.

James raised an eyebrow at him, then turned to look at Glynda, Summer, and Yang pointedly, then turned back to him. “Yes, Qrow,” he said. “And we are very, very concerned with traditional here.”

Qrow 'hrumphed', and caught the attention of their tailor, currently sending a previous customer on their way out the door. “Hey, Thad,” he said. “How do you feel about stuffing Jimmy here into a white tux?”

The tailor- Thaddeus- looked as though all of his dreams had come true at the very suggestion. Qrow would swear there were stars in his eyes.

“I would love,” he said. “What color are we talking for the trim? Because I have a beautiful blue material that would bring out your eyes wonderfully.”

James smiled. “Red,” he said firmly. “Red like rubies.”

Thaddeus looked disappointed at that, but relented easily enough and took them through the store, discussing cuts and materials as they went. They eventually were able to settle on something, and Thaddeus assured them that they would be the best looking wedding party he'd ever dressed.

“I think he's sweet on you,” Qrow said, after they left. “Did you see the way his eyes lit up at getting to dress you up all pretty?”

“He's just enthusiastic,” James said, a faint blush tinging his neck pink. Qrow just clucked his tongue in disagreement.

“Enthusiastic, huh? Enthusiastic doesn't cover knowing the exact shade he'd need to use to bring out your eyes.”

On James' other side, Glynda hummed her agreement. “He makes a good point, James,” she said. James just shot her a Look.

“Thaddeus has been my tailor for several years now,” he said. “Sometimes you can pick things up when you know someone for so long.”

“As you say,” Glynda said. “If you don't want to see what's right in front of your face...”

“It doesn't matter anyway,” Qrow said. “I was just teasing you, Jimmy, you don't have to make it a big deal.”

“I-” James stopped, and snapped his mouth shut. “Of course,” he said. He folded his arms behind his back. “Let's go get something to eat. We missed lunch.”

“Somewhere they serve alcohol, right?”

“Qrow!”

“What?”

They bickered the rest of the way to the car, while Summer hung back and caught Glynda's arm, raising her eyebrow questioningly. Glynda folded her arms and pursed her lips.

“Did you know that rubies bring out Qrow's eyes better than garnets?”

Summer's brow furrowed at the unusual comment, and then understanding dawned. “They really are a pair, aren't they?”

o/o

School field day was in the middle of May. It was a swelteringly hot day- even James was in a t-shirt, his metal arm bouncing lens flares in all directions where it shone in the sun. Qrow glanced out at the current race- the kids were doing fine, and though he was expected to oversee the middle school events, he could do that just as well with James as he could right here. He shoved his hands into his pockets and ambled over. When he got to him, he lifted James' arm and tucked himself under it.

To anyone else, this might seem the act of a loving and affectionate couple, but James knew Qrow better than that, and just raised an eyebrow at him.

“There are better ways to cool off,” he said.

“Says the man with built in air-conditioning,” Qrow shot back.

“Says the man with lots of wires that could burn out and fry if they overheated,” James countered.

“Oh.” Qrow frowned, and eyed James out the corner of his eye. “You got failsafes in there, right? Just in case your a-c futzes out?”

“Of course.”

“Good.” Qrow stared moodily ahead of him, brow furrowed. James' cybernetics didn't just ensure that he had full mobility, they were also the only thing keeping him alive. They were too integrated with his living half for him to survive their failure, and Qrow had woken up from more nightmares than he cared to admit to about just that.

Qrow slowly became aware that James was looking at him, and tilted his head up and around. James' face had softened visibly, his eyes warm and crinkled at the corners. It sent a jolt through Qrow's middle, and he gave James a confused look. “What?” he said.

His words seemed to jar James' expression, and in the space of a breath his usual reserved look was back. He shrugged the shoulder Qrow had tucked himself under. “Nothing. Just thinking.”

“Oh.” Qrow licked his lips, swallowed around a suddenly dry throat. “Well- don't look at me when you're thinking,” he said, trying to make his voice sound teasing. “People'll start to think we're a couple or something.”

“We wouldn't want that,” James agreed. That warmth was back in his voice. Qrow swallowed again, and pulled himself away from James, letting his arm fall. James folded it behind his back with the other, almost instinctively. Qrow wondered if he was even aware of doing it.

“I gotta go take care of the kiddies,” Qrow said. “Hey, grab me a drink from concessions, will you?”

“All right. Lemonade fine?”

“Am I still not allowed to drink on school grounds?”

“ _Qrow_.”

“Lemonade will be fine.”

o/o

Once the day was done and the students had gone home, James headed back up to his classroom. He had a few essays to look over, and as he was taking Penny out of town this weekend he wanted to get them done before he left, and not have to think about them.

He was having trouble concentrating. His thoughts kept drifting back to Qrow, and how nice it had been to have him pressed against his side.

He opened one of his drawers and rummaged around in it, taking out the silver gift he'd gotten Qrow back in March. He traced the engraved words with his thumb. He was sure Qrow would like it, if he ever got around to giving it to him. At the time he'd had no idea why he'd done it- but then somewhere between the dinners and the movie nights and the wedding plans, his feelings had kicked his door down and made themselves known, and there was no denying them anymore.

James wasn't as dense as Glynda thought. He knew what he felt- but he also knew that, unless he could get some kind of indication that Qrow felt the same way, he would take his feelings to his grave. It didn't matter that everyone thought he was being stupid- Qrow was too good a friend, and he wouldn't risk that friendship unless he was sure Qrow returned his feelings.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -deliberately refuses to reveal what James' mysterious gift is-


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James goes out of town, and Qrow is bored.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyyy, lookit that, I got inspired for another of my wips! That's, what, only two left now? Three? Idk I can't remember. But anyway.

o/o

James and Penny drove up to the mountains that weekend. It was cooler up in the mountains, and quieter, and gave the two of them some much needed peace after how hectic their lives had become lately.

“Perhaps next time we come up here we can bring Uncle Qrow with us,” Penny said, twirling around in the grass outside their cabin to unlock ride-stiffened joints. “I am sure he would enjoy it.”

“You think?” James paused in taking their suitcases down from the truck to give her a smile. “Well, maybe we'll invite him, then.”

He hoisted the luggage and headed inside, mind following that train of thought. It'd be nice to have Qrow up here, he thought. It'd also be nice to bring him up here alone- just the two of them for a “romantic” weekend away. Would Qrow like that? Yes, James decided. Qrow liked to be the center of attention, true, but it was a performance and too stressful for him to maintain constantly. He'd probably appreciate a little brief isolation.

But that was for another time, he thought. He caught Penny's attention as she came in with her luggage.

“Penny,” he said, “How about we go fishing?”

“I'd like that!” Penny said cheerily. “Let me go change from my traveling clothes, and we can go whenever you like.”

o/o

Qrow was feeling antsy, and it was showing in the way he kept fidgeting and grumbling. He was sitting in one of the empty chairs in Raven's salon, spinning the chair idly and complaining of boredom while she worked.

“I'd be bored if my man left me for the weekend too,” said the current client- a friend of Raven's named Roman. He turned to look at Qrow, and Raven immediately turned his head back to the front. “I mean, who runs off for the weekend and leaves his fiance behind?”

“He's spending some one-on-one time with his daughter,” Qrow said, twisting to drape himself over the back of the chair with another sigh. “Anyway, I'm not bored because he's not here, I'm just bored because there's nothing to do.”

Raven snorted at that. Qrow didn't blame her- he knew as well as she did that he was absolutely bored because James was gone. With James gone, he didn't have his reliable fallback hobby of “go bother James”, and since it was the weekend, he couldn't use his other fallback, “go bother Winter”. She was probably off doing swank rich brat things at home, or something.

(At Schnee Manor, Winter suddenly stopped grading test papers and looked up, frowning at the window. She got the distinct impression that she should be feeling indignant right now.)

“This kind of codependency isn't healthy, Baby Bird,” Roman said, tilting his head back to look at Raven. She gave a disgruntled noise and pushed his head back into place. “I'm just saying. It's been one day. You should talk to him.”

“I'm right here, prick,” Qrow said. “And I'm not codependent, I'm just _bored_.” He turned again and flopped backwards. “Raven, entertain me.”

“I'm working.”

“Roman's not important. Pay attention to me instead.”

“Wow, thanks a lot.” He turned to stick his tongue out at Qrow, and Raven gave a frustrated noise and turned his head back once more, glaring at him in the window until he muttered a meek apology.

“Qrow?” Raven said, not looking up from Roman's hair.

“Yeah?”

“Go away.”

“Awww.” He didn't argue, though, and got up to leave, pouting all the way out. Raven ignored him.

o/o

They managed to catch enough fish for supper, so James sat out on the back porch cleaning them while Penny played in the yard. She had brought her camera, and she was climbing trees and diving into bushes to take pictures to show her friends later. James kept a close eye on her; he knew the area was pretty safe, but he still worried. Penny was too precious to him to risk her getting hurt.

Eventually Penny got tired of taking pictures and flopped down in the grass to stare up at the sky, watching the clouds drift by as the sun slowly dipped down behind the trees. She had a content look on her face, and now that she was staying in one place James didn't need to keep such a close eye on her, and let his mind drift. He thought of Qrow, and Penny's suggestion to bring him to the cabin.

He'd never brought Qrow up here before. In fact, for all his generosity, for all that he brought and sent his friends on vacation often, the cabin had always been for him, and for Penny, and- before his death- for grandfather. Even Cinder had never been invited. The cabin was somewhere that existed only for family. Grandfather had said that was important. That there had to be something. He'd never refused anyone their needs, but he'd said you had to hold onto one thing that was just for you.

But the idea of bringing Qrow here was stuck in James' head, and he couldn't get it out. Would Penny be with them? Probably, but the idea of bringing Qrow alone had a strong appeal. Just the two of them.

He checked on Penny again, but her eyes had drifted shut, face still looking content. He was glad- he didn't want her to notice how red his neck was turning, because he knew exactly why he wanted to bring Qrow up here alone, and the thoughts were floating into his mind unbidden, despite that he'd been very insistent that he wouldn't let him think of Qrow in a sexual way unless he knew Qrow would return his feelings.

(His mind whispered to him that Qrow had made no secret of his sexual interest, but he silenced it. Qrow was casual- flippant- dismissive- about sex, and being sexually interested in someone was not the same as returning romantic feelings.)

But he couldn't stop thinking of bringing Qrow up here, of seducing him in his isolated mountain cabin. No one around, they could be as loud as they wanted. Qrow could scream himself hoarse and James wouldn't have to worry about silencing him. He liked that thought- the idea of Qrow screaming his name, intermingled with swears and curses and shouts of encouragement.

His blush had spread to his cheeks, and he ducked his head to stare at the fish in his hand, focusing on digging out the insides to clear his mind. These were bad thoughts, bad bad thoughts. Never mind that Qrow would absolutely be amenable- they were still bad thoughts.

And it was far, far too tempting to indulge them.

o/o

Qrow wandered around Vale for awhile after Raven kicked him out, grumbling to himself and insisting, very hard, that Roman wasn't right, that he was just bored, that he didn't _miss_ James, well, not more than he generally did when he went out of town, but that was just light missing, nothing serious, and his chest certainly didn't feel tight and he hadn't been checking his scroll for texts from James that he knew he wouldn't get because James would be having fun with Penny and not thinking about him.

He missed James, sure. But he didn't _miss_ James.

He was telling himself this very emphatically when he found himself outside of Tukson's Book Trade. He could see the proprietor inside, talking to Barty while a few customers walked slowly through the aisles. He pushed open the door, for no other reason than walking through the shelves would give him something to do.

“Welcome to Tukson's book trade- oh, hi Qrow.”

“Hey, Tuk.” Qrow shoved his hands into his pockets and ambled up to the register. “Got anything interesting in?”

“I think everything I carry is interesting,” Tukson said. “You'll have to be more specific.”

Qrow knew he wasn't bullshitting when he said it- Tukson loved books, found value in even the cheesiest, most cliche-ridden drivel. He turned toward the shelves instead. “Never mind, I'm not looking for anything in particular. I'll just look around myself.”

“Fair enough. Let me know if you need anything.”

He turned back to Barty, who was bent almost double leaning on the counter to talk to him. Qrow gave him a two-fingered wave, and joined the other customers into ambling aimlessly. He wasn't sure what he was looking for. He wasn't really the reading type; he always joked to James that he'd just wait for the movie. He preferred audiobooks to reading in any case. He could do something with his hands while he listened to an audiobook, splitting his attention between two things rather than need to be focused on one thing only.

Qrow wasn't sure how long he'd been wandering up and down the aisles, picking up books at random and flipping through them to see if they looked worthwhile. Nothing had really kept his attention though, and he was starting to get bored again- his mind drifting, inevitably, to James, and how much he loved wandering through bookstores. He didn't have much time for reading, and preferred the convenience of his scroll's digital library anyway, but he did love books, far more than Qrow.

Qrow stopped shook his head, trying to snap his thoughts away from James and squinted instead at the book in front of him. The title looked familiar, but he couldn't think why-

-oh right. He shook his head again. It was James' favorite book, that was why. He'd been meaning to get a new copy for awhile, his old one having worn out through excessive use. He had a digital copy, of course, but he insisted there was something about having a physical copy that was important to him.

Well, why not? Qrow picked up the book and carried it to the counter, drawing Tukson and Barty out of their conversation.

“Find anything?” Tukson asked, and looked down at the book. “Nice choice. Not what I would have expected from you. No offense.”

“It's not for me, it's for Jimmy,” Qrow said, and immediately regretted it when Tukson and Barty exchanged a knowing look. He knew what that look meant. Raven and Summer had been giving it to each other about ten times a day since he and James had started their fake engagement. “As a favor,” he said, a little more intensely than he perhaps meant. “He's been meaning to get a new copy and hasn't got round to it.”

“Of course. Would you like it giftwrapped, then?”

“What? Fine, whatever.” Qrow scowled and waved his hand absently, and then stood glowering for a few minutes while Tukson wrapped the book in silver-blue foil.

When Qrow left the store soon after, the book tucked under one arm, he was still glowering, but at least he wasn't bored anymore.

Unfortunately, he still had James stuck in his head.

Dammit.

o/o

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JUST TALK TO EACH OTHER GOD


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Qrow and James are really gay. But not as gay as Winter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Das gay, guys.
> 
> Like. _Really_ gay.

o/o

The end of the school year snuck up on them. One moment they were laughing together over morning cafeteria duty, the next they and a few of the other teachers were going out for drinks to celebrate the start of summer. They invited Winter- Qrow's idea, in fact, though he made James do it since she would be suspicious of him if he did. James squinted at him.

“I don't blame her, honestly. Why do you want to invite her? What are you planning?”

“Nothing!” He rolled his eyes. “Look, I know I give her a hard time but she works hard, and she's about to get her degree, right? So invite her. I'll be on my best behavior, even.” He held up two fingers. “Scout's honor. Er.” He squinted at his fingers, and shifted them. “Swear it.”

James had continued to squint at him, but he'd apparently decided Qrow was being honest because when they all trailed out to the parking lot after the kids were all finally gone and the school was ready to be closed up, Winter was with him. She looked stiff- stiff and reserved, and not entirely comfortable. He suppressed a smirk, and ambled over.

“Hey there, Princess,” he said. “Heard your degree is basically in the bag now.”

“I have one class left to make up over the summer,” she said, clearly a little offput by his unantagonistic behavior. “After that, I'll have my full degree.”

“Just in time for the new school year,” Qrow mused. He opened the door to James' van and gestured for her to get in. Once she had, he moved up to the front passenger's side and slid in. “Got any positions lined up?”

“None yet.” Winter squinted, suspicious, but when Qrow's face didn't slip from polite interest, she added, “I was thinking of taking a semester off to re-evaluate my future plans.”

“Good idea,” Qrow agreed. “Never hurts to take time to make sure you're doing what you want to do. Having second thoughts about teaching?”

“No, I know I want to teach. I'm just reconsidering what level I'd like to teach at.”

She squinted at him again, and when James finally made it to the car- having needed to go back for something in his desk- she turned to him with a pleading look. He sighed, and looked at Qrow.

“We haven't even left the parking lot,” he said. “You swore you'd be on your best behavior.”

“I have been!” Qrow said, voice dripping with innocence. “I thought we were having a really nice chat. Winter here says she's taking a little time off to re-evaluate her future, and I was agreeing that it was a good idea.” He gave Winter a hurt look. “Honestly, Princess, I thought we were actually getting along.”

James leaned his head back and closed his eyes, and let out a long, slow breath through his nose. “Let's just go. The sooner we get to Junior's, the sooner you two won't be cooped up together.”

“Junior's, huh? Nothing more classy for a bunch of middle-aged teachers and one twenty-something?”

“You'll have to ask Glynda and Peter about that. I was outvoted.”

“Meh, not like I care. I can have fun anywhere I can drink alcohol. But _you_ don't seem like you'd really fit in at Junior's.”

“Qrow, you've dragged me there a thousand times.”

“Yeah, keyword _dragged_. Ah well.” He leaned back in the seat, and caught Winter's eye in the rearview mirror. “And hey, maybe with all the young people around Ice Queen back here can actually get laid for a change.”

“Ex _cuse_ me?” She bristled. He shrugged.

“I'm just saying. Probably loosen you up a lot. Get that stick out of your-”

“Sir!”

“ _Qrow_.” James shot him a look. “Best behavior, remember?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

o/o

Junior's was as crowded as ever- moreso, almost. A lot of young people were blowing off the steam of their exams ending, and they weren't the only teachers there either. James caught the eye of one of his old students- Neon- while she was dancing, and she treated him to a wave that had him smiling when he and Glynda made it to the table with everyone's drinks.

Qrow scooted over so he could sit with him, idly leaning into his side as he did. Across the table from them, he saw Peter and Glynda swap looks- that same look everyone always used, and moved away with a huff, disguising the motion as standing up so he could dig some money out of his pocket. “I'm gonna go throw in a few requests with the DJ,” he said. “Anyone got any?”

“No Bubblegum Stardust,” James said firmly. Qrow pouted.

“What have you got against the single-greatest space-pop band this side of Vacuo?”

“Nothing. I like Bubblegum Stardust. But every time you request Bubblegum Stardust we get treated to an entire essay about why Ginger Pop is the superior member and how they've gone downhill since Sonic Glitter took over and the fact that I can name everyone who has _ever_ been a member of Bubblegum Stardust means you're not allowed to request them from the DJ.”

“Well, harumph to you!” Qrow gave a haughty sniff and turned sharply, then stormed over to put his requests in. James shrugged.

“I guess we're listening to Bubblegum Stardust some time tonight.”

“We would have anyway,” Glynda said, giving his shoulder a pat. “They're very popular right now since they just put out a new album.”

“Did they?”

“Snow is a fan,” Glynda said, taking a delicate sip of her drink. “One day I'm going to throw Qrow at her and they can inflict themselves on each other and save the rest of us the trouble.”

“Hey Jimmy, look who I found!”

Qrow had come back, and he was pulling Amber along behind him. Amber looked amused, but she gave James a warm smile of greeting before her gaze slid sideways to land on Winter, sitting up straight on James' other side and staring off into the middle distance. She wasn't really one for Junior's setting, either, and was clearly uncomfortable. James was beginning to regret inviting her when she clearly didn't want to be there.

“Hi, Amber,” James said. Her attention snapped back to him, but he didn't miss that it slowly slid back to Winter while he talked. “What brings you here?”

“I got invited to a bachelorette party for another wedding I'm working on, but I snuck away and then ran into Qrow.” She leaned around him to address Winter. “Hey, I was planning to sneak out to get away from the noise. Want to sneak with me?”

James nudged Winter, and she snapped around to look at Amber. “What?” She shook her head. “Sorry, I wasn't paying attention.”

“No problem. I'll leave you alone now.”

She waved, and took off. Qrow slid back into his seat and leaned around James- James draped his arm loosely over Qrow's back, and told himself it was just because Qrow was sitting so close- and glared at Winter.

“Nice going, Princess,” he said. “I go through all the trouble of hand-delivering a cute girl that quite frankly would be perfect for you, and you shoo her away without a thought.” He sat back (and ignored how nice it was that James' hand slid down to rest on his waist instead) and huffed. “That's gratitude for you!”

“ _What_?” Winter shook her head. “What are you _talking_ about?”

“I'm talking about Amber!” Qrow gestured emphatically in Amber's direction; she'd stopped just inside the door to check her scroll. “What's wrong with her, huh? She's smart, she's organized, she's friendly, she's pretty... the least you could do is give her a look in.”

Winter looked baffled, but she turned to look at Amber thoughtfully before turning back to Qrow. “Yes? I'm still lost.”

“Oh my _god_.” Qrow groaned and thumped his forehead repeatedly on the table; Winter turned her baffled look to James instead.

He sighed. “Winter, Amber invited you to step outside with her so that you could talk without so much noise, and away from a setting that you're clearly not at home with.” When this did nothing for Winter's confusion, he added, “She was probably hoping it might develop into something more than talking.”

Realization dawned slowly on Winter's face, followed by horror. “Oh _no_! And I blew it, didn't I?”

“Maybe not- she's still at the door, you could probably catch up.”

“Do you think she'd like that?”

“I think I can say with absolute certainty that she would like that.” He picked up Winter's purse and handed it to her pointedly. “Go on.”

“Right. Right! Thank you, I'll- do that.”

And with that she hurried off, hair a white streak behind her. They watched as she reached Amber at the door; there was a moment's conversation that looked pained on Winter's part and amused on Amber's, and then they disappeared out the door, Winter's hands folded behind her back while Amber tucked her hands into her pockets beside her. James' fingers danced up and down Qrow's side, and he felt rather than heard the soft laughter beside him. He turned to look at James.

“What did you do?”

“You first,” James said. There was amusement dancing in his eyes. Qrow shrugged.

“I knew Amber was gonna be here tonight so I put the word in Glynda and Peter's ear that Junior's might be pretty fun for our end-of-year drinks. I figured, you know, Amber said she'd been having that dry spell and I _know_ Winter needs a date so she can actually chill for once, so.” He shrugged. “Two birds, one stone. And I do think they'll be good together. I wasn't kidding. Amber's super organized and efficient and Winter loves that kinda thing.”

“That's surprisingly thoughtful of you,” James said. “I wouldn't have expected you to do something so nice for Winter.”

“Yeah, just don't put the word around. What about you? 'Absolute certainty', really?”

“I sent her a text telling her we were trying to get Winter to realize she'd just been propositioned and that it might take a few minutes but would be worth the wait.” It was his turn to shrug. “She wouldn't have stuck around if she wasn't hoping it would work.”

Qrow grinned, and held up his hand. “I think this calls for a celebratory fistbump, don't you?”

“We didn't do enough to warrant a fistbump, Qrow.”

“Fuck you, Jimmy, we did plenty to warrant a fistbump.” When James just continued to stare at him, he huffed. “Come on, you're just gonna leave me hanging? Wow. Some fiance you are. I might just not marry you now.”

“And undo all of Amber's hard work?” He raised an eyebrow at Qrow, who pouted.

“Damn, you're right. Shit.” He grabbed his drink, and brought it up to his lips. “Fuck you, Jimmy.”

James raised an eyebrow, and timed his words to when Qrow was just starting to swallow- “Maybe later,” he said, and grinned when Qrow choked and sprayed whiskey everywhere. He handed him a napkin, and turned back to his drink without bothering to look at Qrow's expression, a smug grin tugging at his own.

o/o

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus extra scene:
> 
> Glynda, Peter, and Barty twisted around in their barstools to watch James and Qrow, both leaning into each other and touching entirely more than was strictly necessary. Glynda downed the last of her drink and waved for another.
> 
> "Sooo..." she said. "How long until they realize we're not with them anymore?"


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not like this is a romance novel or anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we're approaching the end of Act I, I'm predicting maybe two-three more chapters depending on how the pacing works out. Act I will end on the wedding night, and Act II will start on the honeymoon.
> 
> As I've already said in the latest Royals au chapter, I will not be altering my characterization of Raven for this fic to reflect canon. Anything I begin in the future will be based on her canon characterization but anything begun before that will remain consistent with how I've written her in the piece already.

o/o

The wedding was fast approaching. It was a month away, then a few weeks. A week. Suddenly, without anyone quite realizing, it was a mere three days away. It was crunch time, there was no putting anything off anymore.

And it was time for their bachelor parties.

Party, actually. Glynda and Summer had been converging for over a month now, and they'd decided the best bet would be a shared bachelor party, since they had so many of the same friends anyway. It didn't make sense, they said, to split everyone up.

They were starting at James' house. Glynda kicked him out that morning, telling him she needed to get everything ready, and he allowed it, because ominous words or not, he knew better than to argue with Glynda when she got that look in her eyes- especially when she had Snow with her, who absolutely _didn't_ intimidate him in any way, at all. Ever. Despite what rumors might suggest otherwise.

He ended up at the rec center, where the summer program he'd established a few years ago was in full swing. The center was full of kids enjoying themselves and- most importantly- staying out of trouble, all taking full advantage of the athletic and academic facilities available. He couldn't help smiling while he passed over the grounds, headed nowhere in particular. The rec center had always been there, established way back when James was a boy, but it was only in the past decade that it had reached the level it was at now.

The center had Grandfather to thank for that, James mused. The center had been his passion project, and it was too bad he'd passed before the theatre-arts wing of the academic facilities had been complete. James turned toward that end of the grounds, wanting to see how things were going. The current numbers predicted it would be ready by winter, and there would be a grand event around the opening of the facilities. It would be the last thing done in Grandfather's name- the end of his last project.

The thought brought up a lump in James' throat, and left his eyes wet. He swiped a hand over his face and turned away from the partially-completed building.

There was a boy approaching him. James swiped his had over his face again, embarrassed to have been caught in such a state, and gave the boy a warm smile. “Hello, Mercury.”

“Hey, Dr. Ironwood.” Mercury shoved his hands into his pockets and ambled up to James. “Come to see how the theatre wing is going?”

“Something like that.” He folded his arms behind his back. “And what about you?”

“Killing time, mostly. It's either this or hanging around at the group home. At least here I can get some privacy.”

“You know, my offer still stands if you're ever interested.”

“What, to come live with you?” He shook his head. “I'm not a charity case.”

James rolled his eyes. “It's not charity, Mercury. I care about you. I'd like to make you a part of my family.”

Mercury smirked. “You make a tempting offer, Teach, but you've done enough for me.”

“I just don't understand you, Mercury. Why are you so against the idea?”

“I _told_ you, I'm not a charity case.” He kicked irritably at a loose stone. “And I know you're only offering cause of my legs.”

“You know that's not true.”

“No?” Mercury puffed his bangs out of his eyes. “So it's total coincidence that the orphan you latched onto just _happens_ to be the only double-amputee at the group home?”

“Of course it's not a coincidence. That doesn't mean my concern is any less genuine.” Mercury just looked surly at that, and James sighed. “The choice is yours, Mercury, and the offer is always open. I won't force you. I just wanted to remind you it was there.”

Mercury just humphed, and looked away, glaring out at the middle distance. “I'll keep that in mind.”

o/o

Qrow was packing. He would be staying with James in the manor over the course of their sham marriage, and while he wouldn't be bringing all of his things, he had to make sure he had enough of his essentials and personal effects to be able to live comfortably.

Raven was in his room, watching him pack. She flipped over to stare at him upside down.

“It'll be strange not having you living here anymore.”

“Just don't go renting my room out,” Qrow said. He dropped a few of his shirts into a box. “I'll be back in about eight months, once Jimmy has his money and we can get divorced.”

Raven just snorted. “You keep saying that. When are you going to just admit that you're in love with him?”

“ _Raven_.”

“What? You are! Everyone knows it.”

He turned away, and grabbed a few dvd's off of his shelf. He started flipping through them. “It's not that simple.”

“What?” Raven rolled herself upright and gave him a surprised look. “Wait, you do know, don't you?”

Qrow rolled his eyes. “What kind of question is that? Of course I know! Jesus, Raven, do you think I'm oblivious?”

“Yes, actually!” She sat up. “Why haven't you done anything about it?”

“Cause he doesn't feel the same way.” Half the dvds in his hand went into the box. The other half went back on the shelf and he started on the next stack. “And I'm not gonna make a fool of myself or ruin our friendship just cause I went and caught feelings. James is the best thing that's ever happened to me, if I say anything I could lose him forever. I don't want that.”

Raven moved over to her brother and wrapped her arms around his waist, leaning her chin on his shoulder. “Oh Qrow,” she sighed. “You are very, very oblivious.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” She just traipsed out, waving at him as she did. He took a half-step after her. “Raven! What do you mean?”

“You should tell James how you feel!” she called back, and disappeared down the hallway. “Before you get married, for preference.”

o/o

James was working on his vows in his empty classroom at the school. He'd been working on them all week, and getting nowhere.

It wasn't that he couldn't get the words out. Quite the opposite, in fact: his words came easily, and no matter how he tried, they were just too... sincere. Genuine. _Honest_.

The sort of things he would say if this marriage were real, and he was pledging his life to Qrow because they loved each other, and never wanted to part. Not because he needed to in order to claim his inheritance.

James sighed and ran his hands down his face, letting out a long, slow breath. Qrow was probably having no trouble writing _his_ vows.

Speaking of Qrow, there was a knock on the door. He fixed his glasses and called entry, but Qrow had already pushed the door open and was coming in anyway. He walked toward the front of the classroom, trailing his hand over the empty desks as he did. James raised an eyebrow at him in question, and pulled open the bottom drawer of his desk to set the paper he'd been writing on in it. He didn't want Qrow to see what he'd written.

“What brings you here?” James asked. Qrow reached his desk and hopped up onto it with a shrug.

“Got bored. Dropped by the manor and Glynda said you'd probably be at the school. What about you?”

“Glynda kicked me out and I needed to get some work done.”

“Ah, of course.” He leaned back, and fidgeted uncomfortably before reaching over and pulling James' glasses off.

“Sorry,” he said, folding them and handing them back to James. James put them into his breast pocket. “But you know how much I hate talking to you when you wear those things.”

“Which I've never understood.”

“And you never will.” Qrow leaned back on his hands and watched James thoughtfully. “So. Three days.”

“Three days,” James agreed. “Have you picked up your tux from Thad yet?”

“Summer went today to pick up all of our stuff at once,” he said. “I'm pretty sure Yang is never taking her tux off again, she said she's going to find as many chances to wear it again before she outgrows it as she can.”

This got a small laugh from James. “She can be my plus one for my next charity ball,” he said. “I'm sure she'll enjoy that.”

“Heck yeah she will.” He fell silent again, before saying, hesitantly, “Listen Jim, I...”

He trailed off, and James raised an eyebrow at him in question. He shook his head.

“I just... wanted to say I'm really glad things are going so smoothly with this fake wedding. I've read enough romance novels to know how easy it'd be to kill our friendship over it and... well, I'm just glad it hasn't.”

James' smile in response was warm, gentle, and tight at the edges. “This isn't a romance novel, Qrow,” he said. “And anyway those stories always go sour because the involved parties won't communicate. We've been nothing but honest with each other about our feelings about this wedding. That's why we've stayed strong where other parties might fall.”

“Right. Right.” Qrow licked his lips and swallowed. “Nothing but honest.”

“Qrow?”

There was a moment, just a moment, that seemed charged, like _something_ was about to happen. James found himself swallowing as well.

And then, in a heartbeat, the moment was passed. Qrow pushed to his feet.

“Well, I have to get going,” he said, taking a step back. “Things to before tonight, and all. Gonna try to get another load of boxes over to the manor.”

“Of course.” James reached for his glasses, but by the time he'd gotten them on Qrow was gone.

He opened his drawer and stared down at the discarded vows sitting in it, and sighed.

“Honest. _Right_.”

o/o

Outside the classroom, Qrow groaned and leaned back against the wall, scrubbing his hands over his face irritably.

“ _Yeah_. _Honest._ ”

o/o

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will include "this isn't a romance novel" somewhere in every romance novel/romnov-esque story I ever write.


End file.
